Tuesday, 20 February 2018

Golden Education Chapter VI

For many people religion is a problem; religion is a synonym of a long set of restrictions; religion is a natural enemy of freedom and individual liberties. Even for religious people religion is not always easy.

Now, is religion a problem or a solution? There’s not a clear-cut answer to that. The safest way to approach that question would be to say that religion is a set of solvable problems. Every soul must taste of death, and We try you with evil and with good, for ordeal. And unto Us ye will be returned. (21 : 35) But lo! with hardship goeth ease,  Lo! with hardship goeth ease; (94 : 5-7) Allah will vouchsafe, after hardship, ease. (65 : 7) Even the best religious society, led by the best religious ruler, would go through problems, but they are solvable problems. Societies are tried just like individuals. An individual believer can lose his job, a society can suffer drought or an economic crisis. So what’s the use of religion if it will only add more problems to my problems? If I put that question bluntly, I will get nowhere. If I put it in good faith, as I said before, there’s room for discussion. God says: Thou knewest not what the Scripture was, nor what the Faith. But We have made it a light whereby We guide whom We will of Our bondmen. And lo! thou verily dost guide unto a right path, (42: 52)  And if We willed We could withdraw that which We have revealed unto thee, then wouldst thou find no guardian for thee against Us in respect thereof. (It is naught) save mercy from thy Lord. Lo! His kindness unto thee was ever great. (17: 86-87) That means religion is a mercy, it is a divine favour, not a problem. Why should God bother to send thousands of prophets and messengers in so many languages to so many peoples over a long period of time? What’s the use for God to do that? Isn’t that a "problem" for God? When God says: Ah, the anguish for the bondmen! Never came there unto them a messenger but they did mock him! (36 : 30)  Shall We utterly ignore you because ye are a wanton folk? (43 : 5) , what good would that add to God ? What interest would God have in prohibiting sex outside of marriage, for example? Yes, Islam says don’t do this, don’t do that. A lot of restrictions. But in this chapter I will focus on the do’s. Many people would love to move up from Islam to Iman to Ihsan. Many people would love to elevate their nafs from ammara to lawama to mutmaina. Many people would love to approach beauty and greatness in the light of the Word of God. Many people would seek godly solutions rather than lament over Satanic problems. But that’s the minority of the minority. God says: Whoso obeyeth Allah and the messenger, they are with those unto whom Allah hath shown favour, of the prophets and the saints and the martyrs and the righteous. The best of company are they! (4 : 69) That’s the Elite. And in this elite (the saints, asseddeeqoon) come immediately after the prophets and before the martyrs. Who are asseddeeqoon ? God says : And those who believe in Allah and His messengers, they are the loyal, and the martyrs are with their Lord; they have their reward and their light.(57 : 19)  (Translators have rendered here the Arabic word asseddeeqoon as the saints or the loyal.) At first sight those criteria do not appear to be unattainable. So can I be a seddeeq (a saint) ?

Let’s first see how al-muhsinoon (the good) are described in the Quran and then we’ll see whether you and I can attain that. Let’s just dream a bit !

And vie one with another for forgiveness from your Lord, and for a paradise as wide as are the heavens and the earth, prepared for those who ward off (evil); Those who spend (of that which Allah hath given them) in ease and in adversity, those who control their wrath and are forgiving toward mankind; Allah loveth the good; (3 : 133-134) Who forsake their beds to cry unto their Lord in fear and hope, and spend of that We have bestowed on them. (32 : 16) The (faithful) slaves of the Beneficent are they who walk upon the earth modestly, and when the foolish ones address them answer: Peace; And who spend the night before their Lord, prostrate and standing. (25 : 63-64) The steadfast, and the truthful, and the obedient, those who spend (and hoard not), those who pray for pardon in the watches of the night. (3 : 17) Who are constant at their worship And in whose wealth there is a right acknowledged  For the beggar and the destitute; (70 : 23-25) And to feed in the day of hunger, An orphan near of kin, Or some poor wretch in misery, And to be of those who believe and exhort one another to perseverance and exhort one another to pity. (90 : 14-17) And feed with food the needy wretch, the orphan and the prisoner, for love of Him, (Saying): We feed you, for the sake of Allah only. We wish for no reward nor thanks from you. (76 : 8-9) And let not those who possess dignity and ease among you swear not to give to the near of kin and to the needy, and to fugitives for the cause of Allah. Let them forgive and show indulgence. Yearn ye not that Allah may forgive you? Allah is Forgiving, Merciful. (24 : 22)

Grosso modo, it’s all about gratitude towards God and solidarity between humans. The details may differ from one verse to another, but the major guidelines are the same. "Ihsan," as the Prophet (pbuh) said, "is that you should serve Allah as though you could see Him, for though you cannot see Him yet He sees you." How can I translate this into acts ? Well, the Quran answered this in the verses above. That’s what al-muhsinoon (the good) do. But suppose I can’t do that. For one reason or another, I can’t fast very often or worship God at night while people are sleeping, for example, and yet I aspire to be among al-muhsinoon. What can I do ? Well, if I can’t do what al-muhsinoon and asseddeeqoon (saints) do in terms of acts of worship I should not expect to get the wages they get or the special place they get near God. Playing in the school games is not like playing in the Olympic Games. However, I can still rise in my Iman and stand out in the Eyes of God. How ? I should have a strong faith, an unwavering faith. If I hear Is there any God beside Allah? (27 : 62) , my heart will say before my tongue NO ! I have to be among those Who have believed and whose hearts have rest in the remembrance of Allah. (13 : 28) That means I have to be anything but anxious ,  Fretful or grudging; (70 : 19-21) If I have a problem I implore God :  and call on Him in fear and hope. Lo! the mercy of Allah is nigh unto the good. (7 : 56) In addition to praying I keep my duty to God. And whosoever keepeth his duty to Allah, Allah will appoint a way out for him, And will provide for him from (a quarter) whence he hath no expectation. And whosoever putteth his trust in Allah, He will suffice him. Lo! Allah bringeth His command to pass. Allah hath set a measure for all things. (65 : 2-3) If my prayers are not answered quickly, I presevere and keep hope. Such as are steadfast and put their trust in Allah. (16 : 42)

By doing so I discover things that I can only read about in the Quran and the Haddith. It’s my problems and how I see them solved by God, by the power of God, by the knowledge of God, that will show me whether this religion is about truth or about dogma. If I don’t have a problem, how will I know that ? And whosoever keepeth his duty to Allah, Allah will appoint a way out for him, And will provide for him from (a quarter) whence he hath no expectation. (65 : 2) Who can try that out ? It’s my personal experience (what I feel when I have a problem, what I do to solve that problem, how I do it) that will teach me on God better than any scientific or religious book. These are the signs that affect my life directly. If Allah touch thee with affliction, there is none that can relieve therefrom save Him, and if He touch thee with good fortune (there is none that can impair it). (6 : 17-18)  And your Lord hath said: Pray unto Me and I will hear your prayer. (40 : 60) But lo! with hardship goeth ease, Lo! with hardship goeth ease; (97 : 5-6) Lo! Allah defendeth those who are true. (22 : 38) And whosoever keepeth his duty to Allah, Allah will appoint a way out for him, And will provide for him from (a quarter) whence he hath no expectation. And whosoever putteth his trust in Allah, He will suffice him. Lo! Allah bringeth His command to pass. Allah hath set a measure for all things. (65 : 2-3)  And whatsoever ye spend (for good) He replaceth it. And He is the Best of Providers. (34 : 39)


If anyone tells me about reason and obscurantism, well, I tell him that there are things that can never be rationalized. If you ever have to go through a real love experience, chances are that you will be confronted with situations where reason can’t help.

That’s why I devoted the previous chapter to intention (good or bad faith). And I posed the question : what do I care about ? What do I want ?

Ihsan is not a prerequisite to Heaven. An ordinary Muslim who keeps his duty to God is entitled to Heaven. Ihsan is a chance given to ambitious believers who would like to stand out with their work, to express their gratitude to God in the best way possible. It’s a further step towards God, Who made this world and gave me a chance to live in this world. Many people in history began as low-ranked soldiers and became army leaders or even kings. It’s a matter of ambition. And vie one with another for forgiveness from your Lord, and for a paradise as wide as are the heavens and the earth, prepared for those who ward off (evil);  Those who spend (of that which Allah hath given them) in ease and in adversity, those who control their wrath and are forgiving toward mankind; Allah loveth the good; (3 : 133-134)  It is not righteousness that ye turn your faces to the East and the West; but righteous is he who believeth in Allah and the Last Day and the angels and the Scripture and the prophets; and giveth wealth, for love of Him, to kinsfolk and to orphans and the needy and the wayfarer and to those who ask, and to set slaves free; and observeth proper worship and payeth the poor-due. And those who keep their treaty when they make one, and the patient in tribulation and adversity and time of stress. Such are they who are sincere. Such are the God-fearing. (2 : 177) Those who entered the city and the faith before them love those who flee unto them for refuge, and find in their breasts no need for that which hath been given them, but prefer (the fugitives) above themselves though poverty become their lot. And whoso is saved from his own avarice - such are they who are successful. (59 : 9)  And feed with food the needy wretch, the orphan and the prisoner, for love of Him, (Saying): We feed you, for the sake of Allah only. We wish for no reward nor thanks from you. (76 : 8-9)– Not everyone has that privilege. 

Do I want to stand out in the eyes of people or in the sight of God ? Do I want to be talked about by people or by angels ? Do I want to be a celebrity in the earth or a celebrity in the heavens ? Do I believe in God because I am sure that He is God or because I want Him to give me a job or to give me a match or a child… ? These are essential questions ! My intention should be clear and pure. Do I do what I do for the sake of God ? If only my initial faith (intention) were good, God will take care of the rest. As for those who strive in Us, We surely guide them to Our paths, and lo! Allah is with the good. (29 : 69) Lo! Allah is with those who keep their duty unto Him and those who are doers of good. (16 : 128) While as for those who walk aright, He addeth to their guidance, and giveth them their protection (against evil). (47 : 17) Allah is the Protecting Guardian of those who believe. He bringeth them out of darkness into light. (2 : 257) O ye who believe! Remember Allah with much remembrance. And glorify Him early and late. He it is Who blesseth you, and His angels (bless you), that He may bring you forth from darkness unto light; and He is Merciful to the believers. (33 : 41-43)  If I am a sinner, God says to me (and to you) : Save him who repenteth and believeth and doth righteous work; as for such, Allah will change their evil deeds to good deeds. Allah is ever Forgiving, Merciful. And whosoever repenteth and doeth good, he verily repenteth toward Allah with true repentance - (25 : 70-71) If I want God, God says to me (and to you) : And whoever hopeth for the meeting with his Lord, let him do righteous work, and make none sharer of the worship due unto his Lord. (18 : 110) If I forget, if I relent from time to time, God reminds me : O man! What hath made thee careless concerning thy Lord, the Bountiful, Who created thee, then fashioned, then proportioned thee? Into whatsoever form He will, He casteth thee. (82 : 6-8) 

If my faith is not that good, if it’s not pure, well, God will yet give me another chance, but through a trial, maybe two, maybe more.  Man tireth not of praying for good, and if ill toucheth him, then he is disheartened, desperate. (41 : 49) And verily, if We cause him to taste mercy after some hurt that hath touched him, he will say: This is my own; and I deem not that the Hour will ever rise, and if I am brought back to my Lord, I surely shall be better off with Him - (41 : 50) When We show favour unto man, he withdraweth and turneth aside, but when ill toucheth him then he aboundeth in prayer. (41 : 51)  And if we cause man to taste some mercy from Us and afterward withdraw it from him, Lo! he is despairing, thankless. And if We cause him to taste grace after some misfortune that had befallen him, he saith: The ills have gone from me. Lo! he is exultant, boastful; Save those who persevere and do good works. Theirs will be forgiveness and a great reward. (11 : 9-11)

My trials will show whether I really want God. It’s then when I am supposed to do my best  not to succumb to the lure of worldly pleasures ; it’s then when I have to show that I remember the Creator, I remember Him as I would remember a loved one. then remember Allah as ye remember your fathers or with a more lively remembrance. (2 : 200) My trial will not necessarily be a hardship. I may be tried with a very good job, with a very happy family life. And that may be even harder than being tried with a hardship. In either case, I have to show what I want for myself in this world. 

My belief in God entails a responsibility on my part, otherwise I'll be of those of whom God said: "And when it is said unto them: Spend of that wherewith Allah hath provided you, those who disbelieve say unto those who believe: Shall we feed those whom Allah, if He willed, would feed? Ye are in naught else than error manifest." (36 : 47) There’s good in all of us. The problem is that many of us don’t want that good to bear fruit. We prefer evil to good because evil is often easier than good. It’s easier to lie than to tell the truth, for example. I can lie to people, but unless I am a pathologically complexed person, I would not lie to myself. I know my mistakes. If my faith is alive there will be a struggle between me and my conscience. It’s in fact a struggle between my nafs ammara and my nafs lawama. The mere fact that I have this nafs lawama is a good sign. It’s a sign that I care about my faith. When my nafs lawama is stronger than my nafs ammara, what do I do ? Well, I know that  Unto Allah belongeth whatsoever is in the heavens and whatsoever is in the earth. He forgiveth whom He will, and punisheth whom He will. Allah is Forgiving, Merciful. (3 : 129) Allah loveth the good; And those who, when they do an evil thing or wrong themselves, remember Allah and implore forgiveness for their sins - Who forgiveth sins save Allah only? - and will not knowingly repeat (the wrong) they did. (3 : 134-135) Will they not rather turn unto Allah and seek forgiveness of Him? For Allah is Forgiving, Merciful. (5 : 74) So I beg God’s pardon. I know God is just : And whoso doeth good an atom's weight will see it then, And whoso doeth ill an atom's weight will see it then. (99 : 7-8) I implore God to forgive all my mistakes. That’s how I move up on the scale of my faith. And those who, when they do an evil thing or wrong themselves, remember Allah and implore forgiveness for their sins - Who forgiveth sins save Allah only? - and will not knowingly repeat (the wrong) they did. (3 : 135) Save him who repenteth and believeth and doth righteous work; as for such, Allah will change their evil deeds to good deeds. Allah is ever Forgiving, Merciful. And whosoever repenteth and doeth good, he verily repenteth toward Allah with true repentance - (25 : 70-71)  God does not expect me to be an angel. God expects me to be honest with myself first. I should be the engineer of my own redemption. In theory, if I personally am good and my family is good and my neighbourhood is good, who will ever be bad ? God says : And a soul and Him Who perfected it And inspired it (with conscience of) what is wrong for it and (what is) right for it.  He is indeed successful who causeth it to grow, And he is indeed a failure who stunteth it. (91 : 7-10)

Let’s imagine this. My brother and I are at the same university, at the same campus ; we have the same amount of money, the same amount of free time : I personally buy books or papers to learn more about the world, my brother buys beer and cigarettes ; I go to mosque, he goes to nightclubs… When I go to mosque I don’t find a devil who prevents me from entering ; when my brother goes to the nightclub he doesn’t find an angel who prevents him from entering. That's the freedom of conscience. And a soul and Him Who perfected it And inspired it (with conscience of) what is wrong for it and (what is) right for it.  He is indeed successful who causeth it to grow, And he is indeed a failure who stunteth it. (91 : 7-10) The judgement will come on the Day of judgement, not now.


(….)

Monday, 27 June 2016

THE TAILOR : Chapter One

It was noon of the third Tuesday of Ramadan when the Qadi fetched up at the southern bank of the wadi.  All five young men flocked round him as he slowly made his way towards the terebinth-tree. The tree gave little shade at this time of day, but the young men seemed so filled with concern they would not shy away from sitting on a brazier.

     Within moments of their sitting there, the Qadi looked up at one of the young men. Innocent as his look was, it only sparked envy, suspicion and anxiety. But that man the Qadi had looked at just now exuded a charm which would captivate even cats and dogs, let alone a thoughtful, sixty-year-old Qadi. Besides, at that very moment, that very young man had just winked a tear back.
      “You look sad,” said the Qadi to that young man, grinning at the other four.
      “We are all sad, Qadi,” protested one of those  rather quaveringly.
      “I know. I know,” said the Qadi, looking as if he had made a blunder. “I know. That’s why I am here. I want to help you. I don’t want you to be sad. I want you to be happy. But, you know, it’s hard –if not impossible–to make you happy all of you. Because you all want the same thing. You all want the same woman, but only one of you can marry her. Each of you says he loves her. Each of you says he deserves her. No one of you is prepared to choose another woman. You said you’d lay down your lives if you don’t get her. Her father has threatened to marry her off on the same day as all the other village girls, and that day is only months away. I have thought and thought about your problem. I have spoken to so many sensible people and they all repeat that I should not have agreed to help you. I agreed and I’m not sorry I did so, but please help me to help you.”
      “How can we help you?” said one of the young men ungraciously.
      “You can help me by being a little bit more sensible. I’m going to make a suggestion, right? Think about it. If you agree to it, we’ll go ahead. Otherwise, I shall not be able to help.”
      Nobody spoke, but all eyes were on the Qadi’s lips.
      “My suggestion,” said the Qadi, stroking his white beard, “is this. I will give the woman you all covet to the one amongst you who resembles her most  in her goodness or wickedness. If she is a good woman she will get a good man; if she is a wicked woman she will get a wicked man.”
      There was a chuckle, after which one of the young men asked, raising his eyebrows:
      “Who would decide who of us is good and who’s wicked?”
      “I’ll find four men who’ll be spying on you,” said the Qadi gravely. “They’ll be watching each of you without your knowledge. And they’ll be monitoring the woman at the same time. It’s they who’ll decide who should marry the woman. They’ll make their decision within the next few months. Now let me hear from you. What do you say to that?”
      “And what about our weekly meetings with the girls down the valley?” said the charming man. “Shall we be allowed to meet up with Zina during that period of time?”
      The Qadi could not help sighing as he turned to that man, and said with a knowing smile:
      “You can see her, no problem. But, remember, Tahar, only one man will marry that woman.”
      “And that man might not be me,” said Tahar in a muffled voice. “I’ve got it!”
      “So let me leave you now,” said the Qadi, rising to his feet. “See you soon!”  
      The five young men looked at one another. Each seemed to use the other’s eyes as a mirror to find out whether he was “good” or “wicked”.
      Suddenly, Tahar turned his gaze to the opposite bank. He sighed. Then he looked down and moved away.
      “Where are you going?” said one of the other four.
      “I’m going home,” said Tahar simply.

      At home, Tahar’s mother was preparing a  tajeen, and a little way from her, on the right side of the courtyard, her twenty-year-old daughter-in-law was baking bread in an earthen oven. Between them stood a huge tree that shaded the whole place. The mud hut that served as a kitchen in the rainy season stood further away and no smoke was coming from it now. So the chickens roaming about the house could pop in and out of the kitchen without fear of being scared away. The only nuisance to the chickens, though, was Tahar’s three-year-old nephew, who was after the hen with chicks. So Tahar, who was sitting on a wooden stool on the other side of the courtyard, hailed him gently and the little boy ran to him and swung round and stood between his knees.
      “What were you doing?” said Tahar, throwing his voice.
      “I was playing with the chicks,” said the little boy.
      “No, Salem, don’t do that! You are a kid, not a chick. And kids play with kids, and chicks play with chicks…”

     Tahar talked on and on, first with his nephew, then with his elder brother, then with his father, and at foutour, with everybody. But only his tongue was talking with all those. His true talk was with himself, and it was in silence.

      His heart was full of questions and his mind could not afford answers, or rather answers that would quench the fire that was raging in his heart.
      “Am I good?” the questions went on endlessly. “How much of a good man am I? Am I wicked? How much of a wicked man am I? I have not put these questions before. But now I must know. The problem is that I don’t know what I should know. Should I go around and ask people what they think of me? Please tell me: Am I good? Please tell me: Am I wicked? Or should I sit back and count all the good deeds and misdeeds I did in the past? I might count the good deeds, but the misdeeds– there’s no counting them! I don’t say my prayers, to begin with. From time to time I drink with the boys. I spend hours and hours playing on my utar, and I keep on playing on it even when I hear the muezzin call for prayer.
      “But is Zina any different? I don’t think she drinks, but I don’t think she says her prayers, either. I can’t say she’s a woman of easy virtue, but I can’t say she’s any more pious than her mates, either.
      “But, Tahar, why are you thinking of Zina now? No, no, no. I love Zina. I can’t bear seeing her go to someone else. I was the first to talk to her, and she liked me so much– although she’s never told me she loves me. But I could see it in her eyes, on her lips, on her shivering hands. All those boys came down us simply because they were jealous of me. They know that Zina is the most beautiful girl. They just don’t want me to marry her, and that’s it!... But now, Tahar, just tell me: suppose Zina is a wicked woman, would you–No, no, no. I can’t–I can’t think of that. I love Zina. Stop this folly! Get out of here!...”

      It was dark when Tahar left the house. He did not go to the berraka, where the village boys would meet up to have tea and play cards or listen to the utar. He went to the riverbank instead. He sat down under the terebinth-tree and went on musing until it was time for souhour.

      Two days after Ramadan two strange men came up to Tahar while he was working on his family  fields.
      “Hi, kid!” said one of the strangers.
     Surprised at the sudden warmth of the greeting, Tahar dropped the sickle, and mumbled:
      “Hi!”
      All three men shook hands and bandied words, then, all of a sudden, the strangers introduced themselves:
      “I am Issa. This is Mussa. We want a word with you about Zina.”
      “Zina?” Tahar muttered, his eyes sparkling suddenly.
      “Yes,” Issa hastened to add. “But not here and not now. We don’t want anybody else to know.”
      “If not here, where? If not now, when?”
      “Look here,” said Mussa, clutching Tahar’s hands, “we’ll be waiting for you at the Sidi Ali Crossroads just after dawn tomorrow. Don’t tell anybody. Now, goodbye!”

     The next dawn found Tahar at the Sidi Ali Crossroads. Issa and Mussa joined him presently. They took him into a nearby vineyard and served him dates and boiled eggs.
      “Now, what’s the matter?” said Tahar eagerly.
      Issa and Mussa exchanged glances as if both waited for the other to speak first. Tahar was about to repeat his question when Mussa said:
      “Calm down, man! And listen well. Qadi Allal (You know him?)– well, he has asked us to be his eyes and ears. Now, I think you know the rest of the story. What you don’t know, however, is that this meeting might prove very decisive indeed, and we hope earnestly you’ll not miss out on this golden opportunity.”
      “Am I to understand that I should do something or other so that you’ll be saying something in my favour?”
      “You’ve guessed it!” said Issa enthusiastically.
      “Something such as what, I wonder?” said Tahar, whose face was beginning to tense up.
      Once again Issa and Mussa looked at one another, before the latter said with a little smile:
      “Well, we know you love Zina, but we also know that love alone is not enough. Yet, we can help you. But first you have to pay us.”
      “Pay you? Pay you what?”
      “Yes, you must pay us. Give us a yearling calf or three sheep or seven goats. It’s up to you to choose!”
      Tahar sprang to his feet and shouted, tossing away the egg he had been peeling:
      “You brought me over here to bribe you!”
      “Shhh! Calm down! Lower your voice! Shut up! Get out of here!...”
      But Tahar gave free rein to his anger so that the two men had to use a big stick to chase him out of the vineyard.


     On his way back home, Tahar was more confused than angry.

      “Was this part of a scheme?” he thought perplexedly. “Or were they actually trying to swindle money out of me? What should I do now? Should I go and tell the Qadi? Would the Qadi believe me if he trusted these men? And what would be the result? Would he give me Zina? What about the other boys, then? No. I should wait. I must wait and see how they’ll behave in the coming days.
      “And what if those men were genuine? What if I had to bribe them in order to get Zina? Bribe them? I, bribe somebody? And especially those two men? Should I bribe them in order to get Zina? And what about the love that has kindled my heart? Should I love her and, on top of that, bribe people in order to marry her? If her father asked me for a big dowry, I wouldn’t hesitate to sell everything I have to please him. But bribe, no! No, no, this would be a humiliation. I love Zina and I want to marry her. But if– No, no, no. I can’t think of this. Please stop this. Wait! Wait!...”
             

      Wednesday came and the boys and girls from both villages met again, after five weeks of separation, because of Ramadan. Now they were down there humming, shrieking with laughter, clapping their hands, singing. There was no kissing, no necking– never. Nonetheless, some parents and coltish young men and women, who had not yet met partners from the opposite village–all were there, sitting on the higher parts of the slopes. They were up there sitting and watching in silence. Tahar, too, remained seated under the terebinth-tree, just a few yards from the southern bank. And from there he could see Zina and the other four lovers.

     Zina was smiling to everybody. Tahar sighed again and again. Zina was listening to the boys, who were speaking all at a time. Tahar watched in silence. Suddenly, there was a cough and then a shadow. Tahar turned round in surprise and was on his feet.
      “Oh, what a surprise, Qadi!” he yelled with a fetching smile.
      The Qadi smiled too, and said in a kindly voice:
      “You look sad, my son! Why all this gloom? Take it easy! Don’t worry!”
      “What! Do you mean–”
      “I just said don’t worry,” said the Qadi, moving away.
      “Where are you going, Qadi?” Tahar panted out.
      “I’m going down,” said the Qadi without glancing back. “Won’t you come along?”
      “No, sir, I’ll stay here.”
      And there he stayed, sitting under the terebinth-tree and watching in silence.      

      In the evening he was with the boys at the berraka. He had not brought with him his own utar, but someone served him a cup of tea and egged on him to play on the utar that was lying on the mat. Tahar put the cup of tea aside and picked up the utar and began to play on it. And while he played he now and then stole glances at his four rivals, those who vied with him for Zina’s heart.

      Surprisingly enough, all those looked at him with gleaming eyes. They all broke into song and clapped their hands and rocked, and encored the utar player. But the utar player, having seen how gleeful his rivals were, was now beginning to feel a pang of anguish. He began to lose his grip on the utar. And before tears gathered in his eyes he dropped the instrument suddenly and left the berraka.
      "Oh, my God!" he cried, flinging his arms up in exasperation. Above him was a sky studded with stars, in front of him a dark, winding pathway.
      "What's the matter, Tahar?" asked an unseen passer-by.
      Tahar composed himself, and said:
      "There's nothing the matter with me!"
      "But I heard you say 'Oh, my God!'?" said the voice, which turned out to be that of a close neighbour of Tahar's.
      "Yes, that's right!" Tahar conceded with an embarrassed smile. "You know, we all go mad sometimes! Where were you going?"
      "I was going to the berraka."
      "Alright. See you! Good night!"
      "Good night!"


      That night was long, long, and horrendous. "Why, why didn't I agree to bribe them?" Tahar thought ruefully. "All those guys were cheerful tonight. At least one of them must have done it. Maybe they all gave generous gifts. And perhaps each thought he had paid the biggest price for Zina. Zina, my love. But how can she be your love when you were mean to her? Instead of jettisoning just one principle just one time, what you did was chuck out your love. It's too late now! It's a caddish thing to do what you did, my poor Tahar! Yes, sigh again and again, and weep! Your sighs and tears won't help you now…"
      It was prize-day now. Tahar and his four rivals sat in a half circle in front of the Qadi under the terebinth-tree. All eyes were on the Qadi's lips. The Qadi spoke for some length of time of friendship and brotherhood, of fate, and of marriage. Then, he said:
      "I am sorry to say that at this stage, at this point in time, one of you is going to be weeded out. The other four will have to be subjected to more tests."
      Then the Qadi dropped his eyes and fell silent. Tahar's heart throbbed. But no one dared speak to the Qadi now. The silence was unbearably long. And then there was a murmur. Tahar's rivals were looking to their right. Dumbfounded, they looked at a flock of camels, cattle, sheep, and goats– all led by four men, two of whom were easily recognizable to Tahar. They were the ones that had called themselves Issa and Mussa.

      When the cortège came to a halt just a few feet from where the uncomprehending young men were sitting, the Qadi looked up at Tahar, and said:
      "Tahar, you gave us nothing, so you'll get nothing. Your time is up!"
       Tahar cast a puzzled look at his hitherto rivals and at the cortège and took his leave. His legs took him down the valley, through which flowed a brook unsteadily as it sometimes would at this time of year. He trudged along the pebbly edge of the brook. "…So I'm not going to marry Zina," he went on speaking to himself like a madman. "Zina's going to marry one of the bunch… one of the wicked." (He burst into laughter.) "So Zina is a wicked woman? All those are wicked men? So I was the only good man? If Zina is a wicked woman, who is a good woman and where could I find her?" (Suddenly, Tahar went berserk.) "No! I must go back and tell the Qadi that I am just as wicked as those, and that only I and nobody else love Zina, and that I must marry Zina, otherwise I will actually kill someone or kill myself…"
      Just at that moment a voice called out to him:
      "Tahar! Tahar! Wait!"
      Tahar turned round. His pulse began to beat quicker.
      "Wait!" Issa panted out. "The Qadi has sent me to you. He wants to speak to you."
      Tahar just looked on speechless while Issa pointed at a palm-tree up the southern back of the wadi.
      "Qadi Allal will be there in a moment," Issa said. "Go and await him there!"

      Both Tahar and the Qadi were panting when they sat down under the palm-tree. It was the Qadi who spoke first.

      "I thought you were a good man," he said. "I knew you were really hooked on that girl. But I had a feeling that you were good, though. Now, I am disillusioned."
      "What more do you want of me now after having torn my love from me?"
      "Would you marry a woman who loves someone else?"
      "What do you mean?"
      "Well, Zina liked your good looks, but she loved another man, I'm afraid."
      "What do you mean?"
      "Zina hated shy men."
      "That's no news to me! I know I am a shy person, but why don't you want to tell me her lover's name?"
      "Tahar, you were not her man, and she was not your woman."
      "But my heart is full of her!"
      "She did not deserve you. She does not deserve you."
      "Who then deserves me? Just tell me!"
      "How old are you, Tahar?"
      Tahar sighed and cooled down a bit, then mumbled:
      "I'm twenty-one years old. Why?"
      "Well, you asked me a question, didn't you? You said: who deserves me? So–"
      "So what?"
      Their eyes met. The Qadi smiled. Tahar shivered.
      "Tahar," said the Qadi suddenly, "there's a woman who, I think, deserves to be your wife."
      "Where is she?"
      "There!" The Qadi pointed towards the opposite village.
      "Are you mocking at me?"
      "No!"
      "So who is she?"
      "I can't tell you who she is."
      "Qadi, you know I got such a shock when you weeded me out, and now you're yet tormenting me–"
      The Qadi laughed, then said:
      "Listen, Tahar. I am not mocking at you. There's actually a woman who, I think, deserves to be your wife. She lives in that village. I'm afraid I can't tell you who she is. But if you know some religious songs, do sing them and the woman who deserves your love will come into view!"
      "But where will this woman spring from?"
      "I said just come here and sit down and sing religious songs and your true love will spring into view! This time I am in earnest."
      "But I know all the girls, all the young women who live in that village. I saw them all, and I never lost my heart but to the one you've snatched from me with your ruling!"
      "That's right," said the Qadi. "You know them all but one!"
      "Are you sure this one lives in that village?"
      "Yes! Sing religious songs and she'll spring into view and you'll see her with your own eyes!"
      "Alright!" said Tahar. "We will see. I don't know religious songs right now, but I'll go and learn some and I'll come back to sing them."
      "That's good!" said the Qadi, tapping Tahar on the shoulder. "But if you want your love to hear you, come to this tree and sing. But, tell me, Tahar, where are you going to learn religious songs?"
      "I don't know, really. Do you have any idea?"
      "Yes, go to Marrakesh. There is a man in Djemaâ-el-Fna called Saeed El-Bahi. He keeps a bookstore there…"


      A week later, Saeed El-Bahi was unraveling to Tahar the mysteries of Marrakesh. Their trip started at Djemaâ-el-Fna, where they roamed amongst snake charmers, monkey masters, story-tellers, musicians, acrobat dancers. And from there they went to the Koutoubia Mosque.
      "Do you pray?" said El Bahi suddenly.
      "Yes, sometimes."
      But Tahar knew that he was quite new to this world. He had never performed a prayer in a mosque.

      The prayers were over, and El Bahi said they had yet more to see of the city. They went down Agnaou Street, they had a look at Bab-Agnaou, then went on south to Kasba Street, which took them to the Agdal Garden. And there Tahar lost his tongue for a moment. At a glance he could see olive-trees, fig-trees, pear-trees, pomegranate-trees, apple-trees, vines; and other trees he saw for the first time in his life. Never before had he seen orange-trees or peach-trees. Now he saw them, and burst out:
      "This is Heaven, isn't it?"
      "No, my son," said El Bahi. "This is a beautiful garden. But Heaven is quite another matter. Now, come! Let's move on!"
      "Where?"
      "Let's move on to another garden!"
      That other garden was a long way away. "Now, we're going to see the Menara," said El Bahi on the way. "But tell me, what led you to Marrakesh?"

      "I think I told you," said Tahar in surprise.
      "Oh, yes, you told me. I'm sorry. You said you wanted to learn some religious songs. Is that right?"
      "Yes, that's right."
      "Are you a singer?"
      "No, I'm not. But I like singing."
      "What kind of songs do you sing?"
      "Well, you know, I sing of love– that sort of thing."
      "And now you want to sing religious songs. I'm not going to ask you why, but tell me: do you know something of the Koran?"
      "Very little, to be honest."
      "Can you recite what you know of the Koran?"
      "No, not really."
      "Then, I'm afraid, I can't teach you any religious songs or lyrics unless you have learned by heart some Suras of the Koran."
      "I wish I could! But I can't read and write, you know."
      "That's not a problem. I'll teach you how to read and write. And I'll teach you Suras and songs, right?"
      "Thank you! That's why I came to you. But I'm here only for two weeks, no more."
      "You're welcome. Look, now we're heading straight to the Menara. I think you'll like it…"


      When he went to bed that night, Tahar did not think of the Agdal Garden or the Menara or the Koutoubia mosque, but of the young women who, from behind their veils, had devoured him with their eyes.  

      Now, he was back to his village. He told his family that he had learnt to write his name and read Souras from the Koran. Like a school-boy, he recited all the Suras he had learned by heart. And his mother served him a memorable tajeen.

      Then he went to mosque. He performed his prayers and had a chat with the Imam. Then he went back home, fetched his utar and made for the palm-tree by the river-bank.

      He sat down, facing towards the river. He tuned up his utar and soon the music stroke.

      Tahar went from tune to tune, now raising now lowering his voice. He looked as if he were singing to a spirit, hoping it would spring into view and fulfil his most cherished dream. But what he saw now blurred his eyes. It was beyond belief. The young woman the Qadi had told him about seemed to have been spirited out into the open. She seemed to have heard some spirited music throbbing in the distance. She seemed to have heard Tahar's stirring songs– songs that glorified the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh). She was now sitting up there, on the trunk of a tree lying across the lane. Tahar could not see her face, because she was veiled. But he had seen her shape and graceful gait before she sat down. He felt like crying, "Oh, you sitting over there, come and stand by me!" But all he could do was sing more songs and raise his voice high enough for her to feel his heartbeat.

      But now she stood up and began to go away. Tahar was taken aback. He dropped the utar and struggled to his feet. The muezzin was calling for Dusk prayers. The birds were returning to their roosts. The young woman vanished behind a cluster of houses. Three young men came over, and one of them said:
      "Tahar, what's the matter?"
      Tahar gave no reply, so another voice said:
      "Is this another love-story?"
      "You could say that," said the third. "I saw him gazing at the young woman in white who had been sitting up there."
      "Is that right, Tahar?"
      "I don't know," said Tahar, looking down. "I'm sorry, I have to go."
      "No, not before you sing us something!" said one of the three.
      "Some other time!" said Tahar, picking up his utar. "I must go to mosque."
      "What!"
      Tahar did not wait to explain himself. He hurried up towards the mosque. He hung his utar on a tree on the way, and joined the few worshippers.


      Night fell, but, to Tahar, it was just a continuation of the day. The only difference was that he was now in bed in a dark room. Now again he was going to have a sleepless night. He could not sleep because he could not stop thinking. This had happened to him before. What was new –and hard to grasp– was that he now thought of a featureless woman.


      The next day Tahar did a whole day's work in just a few hours so that he could go in the mid-afternoon to the palm-tree and sing his new songs to spirit his new beloved out of her home. He went there and sang soulfully but his beloved did not seem to have heard him this time round. He came back at the same time the next day and the day after and belted out his best new songs, but the woman he was after did not turn up again.
      "So was the Qadi beguiling me with promises when he spoke to me about that ghost of a woman?" Tahar thought gloomily at the end of that day. "The Qadi himself has simply departed from our land! But when he comes back, I'll make it clear to him that I don't want this ghost of a woman anymore!..."


      When Tahar learned that the Qadi was somewhere around, he left everything behind and ran to him.
      "Oh, Tahar, how are you?" said the Qadi.
      "A lot you care!" said Tahar with a nasty look in his eye.
      "Oh, Tahar, is this the right way to speak to a Qadi? Last time I said nothing, but try to be a little more polite. Now then, what's the problem?"
      "The problem," said Tahar in a broken voice, "is that you beguiled me with vague promises."
      "You love her, then!" said the Qadi, rubbing his neck. "I expected that, and maybe she'll soon be all in all to you!"
      "I don't want her to be all in all to me."
      "Why not?"
      "Because I don't know her. I can't love a ghost."
      "So what do you want now?"
      "I want to see her and meet up with her every week as I used to do with Zina."
      "I don't think that would be possible," said the Qadi, shaking his head. "This young woman is not like Zina, nor like anyone you have seen before. But if you have something to say to her, I will be pleased to be your carrier pigeon. That's all I can do for you."
      Tahar mellowed suddenly.
      "Yes, Qadi," he said sheepishly. "I have something to say to her. If you, Qadi, think she deserves my love, then I want to marry her."
      "Alright," said the Qadi with a merry smile. "I shall tell her and bring you the news as soon as I can."
      "Thank you, Qadi!" said Tahar, leaning forward to kiss the Qadi's hand. "            

      Hours later, Tahar appeared to have come in from the cold. His beloved turned up again. She sat down in her usual place and listened patiently while Tahar sang to her with all his heart.


     At sunset the young woman returned home and Tahar went to mosque. The mystery remained whole. To unlock it, Tahar mounted his horse two days later and rode to the Qadi. He found him in a tearoom in a nearby market.
      "Qadi," he said coyly, "I am troubled about something. I didn't get a wink of sleep last night."
      "What's the problem?" said the Qadi, pouring tea in green cups beautifully arranged on a silver tray.
      "Qadi, before you tell me whether she agreed or not, I would like to know two things."
      "One?"
      "Well, I want to know her name."
      "And two?"
      "I also want to know whether she's beautiful, because, you know, it would be hard for me to marry a woman with a plain face."
      The Qadi sighed. Tahar's heart throbbed.
      "Tahar," said the Qadi suddenly, "by coming to me now you've relieved me of a burden, because, you know, I couldn't come to you. I'm sorry, but I only have depressing news for you."
      "What do you mean?"
      The Qadi sighed again, and said:
      "The woman is not going to marry you unless you meet certain demands."
      "Of course her father won't give her to me for free, but first answer my questions. Tell me her name."
      "I can't tell you her name."
      "Is she beautiful?"
      "I can't tell you that, either."
      "Why not?"
      "Well, I doubt whether you'll be able to meet her demands. In fact, I was going to ask you to forget all about her."
      Now Tahar had a wild look in his eyes. He swallowed hard.
      "You let me down last time," he muttered, "and now again–"
      The Qadi cut him short.
      "Can you satisfy her conditions?" he said defiantly.
      Tahar sobered down, then said in a mumble:
      "What on earth does she want?"
      "Well, she says to you: make me two dresses: a dfina and a tahtiya. Make them with your own hands and send them to me. I will try them on, and if they suit me beautifully, I will yet ask you to make me seven more dresses, so that I can have a dress to wear everyday of the week. If you do that, then that would be my dowry, and I'll marry you then."

      The Qadi's words had the effect of a spell on Tahar. His eyes now glittered. Having noticed that, the Qadi went on charming away Tahar's cares:
      "Let me tell you something, Tahar. You know, with all your goods and chattel, you will never marry this woman unless she believes that you are the right man for her!"
      For a moment, Tahar had his head in the clouds. Then, he came round, and said:
      "Why shan't I buy her as many good dresses as she would like? I could order for her the best dresses from the best tailors in the country! I am not a tailor, you know. It would take me years and years to become a dressmaker. Would she be willing and able to wait until I have learnt all about sewing and dressmaking?"
      "I'll put that question to her and bring you her answer," said the Qadi, lifting another cup of tea to his mouth.


      Tahar saw his beloved twice after that meeting with the Qadi, for she came to her usual place by the riverbank and listened patiently to his singing. But all Tahar could see of her was a white piece of cloth wrapped round a human body. She was still a featureless woman.
      "Would the Qadi choose her for me if she hadn't a pleasant face?" Tahar asked himself yet again when he was having dinner with his family at home that night. "But whatever her face is like, does she think of me? Does she think of me as much as I think of her now? I saw her yesterday and today. Does it mean that she cares?..."
      "Tahar," said the Qadi on his return to the village two days later, "I put your questions to your beloved."
      "Really?" said Tahar, sitting up in front of the Qadi in the shade of the terebinth-tree.
      "Well, she says to you: Make the first dresses as I told you. If you can't make a dfina and a tahtiya at this stage, then make me two dresses of your own choice, but then these must be ravishing dresses. I'll be waiting for you to finish them. I give you this pledge. The Qadi, who is a very special person to me, bears witness to this. As to my name, I am called Ezzahiya. I am only eighteen years old. So I can wait until you have made all the dresses. But don't try to look for me before then. If you do try to look for me before I send for you, then make sure you'll never see me again. That's what she said."
      Tahar bowed his head, lost in thought.
      "How does it sound to you?" said the Qadi suddenly.
      "Honestly," said Tahar, raising his eyes, "I am intrigued. I am bewitched."
      "What are you going to do?"
      "I don't know, really."
      "Tahar, you have no choice but to make dresses for your beloved. You see, she has already tried to help you by giving you a pledge. And she says if you can't make a dfina and a tahtiya, just make me good dresses of your own choice. What more could you expect of her?"
      "What if someone else came in my absence and asked for her hand from her father, would she resist?"
      "Look here, don't worry about that! As long as I live no one but you will marry her if you remain faithful to her and make all the dresses she's asked for."
      "I'll make them!" said Tahar, rising to his feet. "So help me God! Do say a prayer for me, Qadi!"

      The Qadi prayed for him, and both walked slowly along the riverbank, from the terebinth-tree to the palm-tree.